So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
