apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
