i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
