Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
