I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
