the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
