Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
