I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
