I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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