I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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