I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
