Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
