come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize