My liver just broke up with me...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
