we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
