You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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