My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize