I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize