Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
