Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Still dying that you shit outside
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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