i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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