Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
