hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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