First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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