does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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