The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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