hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
