Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
