We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
