This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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