That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
