No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize