Barsexuality is the new black.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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