she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
