I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
