so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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