clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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