You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
