driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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