@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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