you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
