Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
