I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
