Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
