school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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