Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
