I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
