I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
