What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
