Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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