is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
