But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
