Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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