u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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