I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
