what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
