I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize