I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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